


Toxic Addiction

by QueenOfNowhere (DarkAbyss)



Series: Shattered Verses [17]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Addiction, Blood, Depression, Poetry, Self-Harm, Strong Images, Suicidal Thoughts, dark themes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-30
Updated: 2014-10-30
Packaged: 2018-02-23 05:32:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2535977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkAbyss/pseuds/QueenOfNowhere
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Change of subject. This is a poem about self-harm. I'm not supporting or encouraging the act, just describing through images one of the many personal way it can be lived. Warning: Not for too sensible readers.<br/>This poem is dedicated to a very special person, someone I met recently but for whom I care very much already.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Toxic Addiction

_**Toxic Addiction** _

Do you know how it feels  
When you’re falling down?  
Do you know what it means  
When it’s cold all around?  
Don’t you ever long for something  
So much, so deeply it hurts?  
Don’t you ever wish for nothing  
But a silence that tears you apart?  
  
When they ask, I’m always great,  
But in truth I feel so sick.  
When they come, I always pretend,  
But in truth I just want it to end.  
Here I am, with my masks,  
With my secrets, my cracks,  
Wearing everyday a fake smile  
While I’m bleed so much inside.  
  
Do you know the sound  
Of a soul that is breaking?  
Do you know how profound  
Is the wound you are opening?  
Don’t you ever desire to be  
Just alone in the dark?  
Don’t you ever want to see  
The blood under every mark?  
  
When alone, I just let go  
Because I can’t take no more.  
When alone, I can’t say no  
Because I’m broken to the core.  
Here I am, choosing the pain,  
My way out, my only release,  
When every hope is proven vain  
I surrender to my disease.  
  
Do you know what’s there  
In the depths of your sick need?  
Do you know why you don’t care  
Of what you have gotten rid?  
Don’t you ever dream  
Of never being born?  
Don’t you ever scream  
When deeply sinks the thorn?  
  
Never again I want to bear  
While my soul tortures my body.  
Never again I want to stare  
While my hands get so bloody.  
There I was and it’s not changed,  
I’m still down in the pitiless abyss,  
Where from the world I’m estranged,  
And all my being has gone amiss.  
  
Why can’t I just sleep,  
Forget and never wake up?  
Why can’t I just take a sip  
From this deadly poison cup?  
Why I keep on hesitating,  
Never making up my mind?  
Why I keep on breathing,  
Never leaving all this behind?  
  
My hands still shake  
Every time I hold the blade.  
My eyes can’t stay dry  
But no one can hear my cry.  
Only the pain keeps me here,  
And still I drown in my fear.  
Only the blood makes me alive,  
But it also feeds my desire to die.


End file.
